I really liked this. I'm not normally a fan of "extracts" or lore at the start of a fantasy novel, but when you transition into the scribe reading, all makes sense. You have been very faithful to Tolkien in that the names have an Anglo Saxon feel to them. I love the kenning of "rhythm of the sky"! It seems like you are setting up the trope of an unknowing heir to the throne, but it also reminds me of the origins of Moses, so maybe there are surprises in store for us as well! If I had to make one criticism, which as an editor I feel I do, haha, it would be that the scribe's reactions are perhaps slightly over-the-top. Even earth shattering revelations rarely make anyone fall off their chair (though they might slump down into it, defeated). It's something I see commonly in fiction where characters "over-act". But it's a minor point, easily addressed. Then again, the full import of his research is unknown to us! Thanks again for sharing. Interested to see where this one goes!
Thank you so muchโespecially for the thought on the over-reacting. I will certainly fix that, because I had been feeling it myself actually. Even, if it is simply removing the chair incident. Thank you.
Very epic. You control different tones and narrative styles well. You give just enough intrigue while not really explaining everything. You give a fair amount of lore but explain it so shortly and aptly that it feels natural and not like an explanation for people outside the world. Very excited to read more!
And I love to hear it. I have many chapters that involve my characters reading history or poetry, or even researching Aristotle-type scientific papers or Plato-type philosophy dialogues. I do it only in blurbs so it is not cumbersome.
It feels like a way to submerge people into a world without having characters monologue or info-dump, and have a world of readers and a varied world of knowledge in that world.
I have an old man named Vadin in my story that serves a similar purpose. He is a โphiloso-prophetโ whose excerpts show up in many places. The three main forces in the novel have claimed him for their own ends, but only one is right.
In the meantime, "The Riddle of The Blue King" is another passage from the bookโand "The Ancient Wood" and "Of Long Forgotten Land" and "The Flowered Crown" (to be adapted to the world of Althren) are all also poems for the book. Each are in my posts :)
Iโll be cooking some more poems and lore for Substack soonโmaybe even a passage or two ๐
I just realized, if you do want more, my posts "Of Long Forgotten Land" and "The Ancient Wood" are poems from the book, and "The Riddle of the Blue King" is another passage!
The words in this feels so rich with meaning, like an ancient language from the world's beginning. We loved what we've read here so far!
Wonderful! I have 25 more chapters ๐๏ธ
The book is coming along soon!
I love the easing into lore as you set the scene at the beginning. Prologues are hard!
Your story of the time taken and work poured into this is inspiring. It will clearly be a great read and I think an inspiring one!
that old school feel. the fantasy of lore. very, very nice
Really enjoyed this - keep it coming!
Thank you ๐ I will.
It is the biggest work of my life thus far.
I really liked this. I'm not normally a fan of "extracts" or lore at the start of a fantasy novel, but when you transition into the scribe reading, all makes sense. You have been very faithful to Tolkien in that the names have an Anglo Saxon feel to them. I love the kenning of "rhythm of the sky"! It seems like you are setting up the trope of an unknowing heir to the throne, but it also reminds me of the origins of Moses, so maybe there are surprises in store for us as well! If I had to make one criticism, which as an editor I feel I do, haha, it would be that the scribe's reactions are perhaps slightly over-the-top. Even earth shattering revelations rarely make anyone fall off their chair (though they might slump down into it, defeated). It's something I see commonly in fiction where characters "over-act". But it's a minor point, easily addressed. Then again, the full import of his research is unknown to us! Thanks again for sharing. Interested to see where this one goes!
Thank you so muchโespecially for the thought on the over-reacting. I will certainly fix that, because I had been feeling it myself actually. Even, if it is simply removing the chair incident. Thank you.
This was great ๐๐ป
Thank you!
I see you like myth as well.
I will be checking out your stuff ๐
Keep it coming!!!
If you do want a little more, my post โThe Riddle of The Blue Kingโ is from a scene later in the tale
Very good! I felt like I was peering over his shoulder as he searched.
Yes! Perfect ๐
Love this! Now I have to know about the child in the little wooden boat!
You will ๐ it might take a while, but you will.
Thank you for sharing this! It was intriguing. Reminds me of the Book of Three, but in its own original vein.
Have you had to do a lot of world building/lore for this work?
I just realized I have a couple poems from the book on here: "The Ancient Wood" and "Of Long Forgotten Land."
Then "The Riddle of the Blue King" is a passage later in the book ๐
Awesome! Iโve seen a few of those already, will take a closer look!
I don't know the Book of Three! I will have to look into it.
Thank you.
I am glad you liked it ๐
And yes, I could yap way longer about the legend and lore going on than anyone could match my endurance for ๐
I have a page of lore and names and places and concepts I could drop in the future without much spoiling.
I would love to read that! I love lots of lore with my fantasy!
Yes! (me too ๐)
Well, perhaps I will sneak that on here sometime soon ๐
Very epic. You control different tones and narrative styles well. You give just enough intrigue while not really explaining everything. You give a fair amount of lore but explain it so shortly and aptly that it feels natural and not like an explanation for people outside the world. Very excited to read more!
Thanks dude! We should hang out soon!
And I love to hear it. I have many chapters that involve my characters reading history or poetry, or even researching Aristotle-type scientific papers or Plato-type philosophy dialogues. I do it only in blurbs so it is not cumbersome.
It feels like a way to submerge people into a world without having characters monologue or info-dump, and have a world of readers and a varied world of knowledge in that world.
The world is called Althreรฏn.
I'm having a lot of fun over here.
I have an old man named Vadin in my story that serves a similar purpose. He is a โphiloso-prophetโ whose excerpts show up in many places. The three main forces in the novel have claimed him for their own ends, but only one is right.
You should tell me sometime how your story is going too!
Yes, we should meet up and share our progress!
More will be coming soon!
In the meantime, "The Riddle of The Blue King" is another passage from the bookโand "The Ancient Wood" and "Of Long Forgotten Land" and "The Flowered Crown" (to be adapted to the world of Althren) are all also poems for the book. Each are in my posts :)
Iโll be cooking some more poems and lore for Substack soonโmaybe even a passage or two ๐
We demand it of you. Give up the goods.
(and thank you, new friend)
I just realized, if you do want more, my posts "Of Long Forgotten Land" and "The Ancient Wood" are poems from the book, and "The Riddle of the Blue King" is another passage!
Woah! Those three are an encouraging comparison. Prose Edda she says! That makes my night. Thank you so much!
I hope to get the book to an editor and publisher this year ๐
There are three books planned and I have a lot of thought to their course. No one could be more excited to see it unfold than me.
Thank you for your words.